I recall a time back in my early twenties when I got the one way ticket to dumpsville “it’s not you it’s me” talk. How rude! I cried to my friends. I called up my mom to cry some more. My best of friends suggested beers. I spent several lonely nights at home blasting The Promise by Tracy Chapman. Let me tell you never believe a promise made over cheap Margaritas and sub-par Mexican food. The next morning I woke up and will never forget the dream I had.
I was hanging out with my exes best friend. We were talking and I was like what did I do? What did I say? I just don’t understand this at all . He responds, you want to know why? And he grabs this colorful painting off the wall. He says to me, see this painting? I respond, yes. He pulls out a bucket of white paint and a paintbrush and he begins to cover over the entire painting with it. I yell at him what you are doing, that painting is so beautiful. He goes Julia, this is why he broke up with you. He wants you to be like this white painting.
I never forgot that dream or the significance it would have on my life for years to come.
I was watching an old episode of Sex and the City, called Ex in the City. It’s the episode when Carrie finds out that Big is engaged to someone else. His fiancé is a much younger, beautiful, rich & sophisticated woman with less curly hair. Carrie is at brunch with the girls talking about Mr. Big’s new leading lady, and goes I’m a Katie girl. When the ladies don’t understand what she means by a Katie girl she explains it’s from the movie “The Way We Were” starring Robert “Hubbell” Redford. Katie was married to Hubbell. She was outspoken, confident and intelligent with wild curly hair that she wore straight during her marriage. Hubbell preferred it that way. She didn’t say the right things or was the most beautiful girl in a room. But her personalty made her attractive. Carrie was a Katie girl. And Big was her Hubbell.
In the end of the episode Carrie spots Big with his new fiancé, she goes up to him, brushes his hair back much in the same way that Katie did to Hubbell in the final scene of The Way We Were. Carrie says “your girl is lovely Hubble.” Big says “I don’t get it”. Carrie says, “And you never did”.
He was my Big. And I was just another Katie girl. I saw him several months after the break up, with his new lady, and I wanted to say to him “your girl is lovely Hubbell.” But I didn’t. I know the inner Carrie in me wanted to.
A couple years ago my roommate and I made a list of all the guys we dated. The good. The bad. The names it took us a little longer to remember. But we decided that the men of Sex and the City can be applicable to the dating scene in the real world. And it goes like this.
Mr. Big “The Emotionally Unavailable Guy”
Aidan “The Nice Guy”
Berger “ The I can’t remember his name “Non-Factor” Guy”
After many years I have a man in my life who accepts my inner Katie girl and I wouldn’t settle for anything less. Ka-Kaa- Kaaa, Katie. Can it Be.